The True Girlfriend Experience

I am a submissive and fetish escort. I wouldn't know a GFE if it slapped me in the face, and not just at work- ask Ace...

 

Definition?

 

Urban dictionary

"The true Girlfriend Experience is something a man askes for when he goes visits a prostitute and doesn't want to use a condom."

 

Err what sorry? Madness.... Ok, so Urban Dictionary is a terrible source but it proves my point, nobody knows what the damn thing it.

 

So I asked the girls on SAAFE. (Here's the thread if you're interested)
They came to the conclusion it must include kissing and cuddles, you all know that's my err strong point (don't laugh so loud) and a sensual massage.  I like to think I excel at sensual massage, oil or no oil.

 

Then I searched UK Punting to see what the boys said (didn't post a thread they get scary when provoked)
Weirdly enough most of you don't even want a GFE, and would rather go the Porn Star Exp route and have a laugh.

 

How confusing, although convenient as I would rather be a Porn Star than a Girlfriend.

I did another photo shoot the other day. Nothing hard-core. No nudity so don't get too excited- just a new lingerie set and a few shots of my slimmer than usual waist (no dear it is not weightwatchers). Keeping the site up to date etc. but check it out I could almost pass for a Girlfriend in those? In a kinky, sex kitten, by-the-way-there-is-handcuffs-under-the-pillow-sweetheart way right..?

Lets get this straight..

I am not a man eater!

 

I just wanted to put that out there... I get a few people each day asking about me "recreational" relationships and can you see me in that capacity.

 

And by the way "darling you are really sexy I want you to be my girlfriend"  NO ! just... no. Adultwork user Landanboi79 that is the worst line I've ever heard in the world !

 

Its very sweet but I don't have enough time or inclination to see any more free time for any more guys.

 

Three is quite enough.

 

As my regulars know I talk about them all the time; lovely Jesse is a med student studying at Imperial, he likes live music. Nate is in the industry and one of the bigger (cough) names in the British porn industry and then there's Ace, he's my favourite and he's into everything else.

But thanks guys I am truly flattered!

 

A Brief Comparison

I have a real love hate relationship with England, made worse by the North/South divide.

I love the North, I grew up eating chip butties on the pier in summer and wore mini dresses with no coat in winter, I even like to think my Mums apartment in the town is Winterfell.. but that's a different story...

I moved to London in 2011 and (I bet Master A can back me up here) fell in love with London. So here's the list- it's not cheating if you call home every week !

 

Sunderland-
The buses have no timetable, everything closes at 5 and the clubs open at 6, childhood obesity, lack of ambition, The Parklane Emos, friends from school, Greggs, complete lack of Europeans and awful music scene.

 

London-
Good ol' TFL, Oxford Street (but only 10:30-4 and only Monday through Thursday), the slim, sophisticated, sexy model like women who strut around my favourite hair salon, pretentiousness- some hate it I love it, Starbucks (hereby referred to as Starbs), the amount of god damn attractive men I find myself dripping with (pun intended)

 

A Note On Sex Shops
Scatted throughout London there are hundreds of establishment's one can visit to satisfy their perversions from the tamer Ann Summers to the more kinkified Harmony,  my best friend Kate's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who (saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night) works behind the counter and apparently has a sex blog- interested? I am! I digress.. in Sunderland there are 2 sex shops, obviously the trusty Ann Summers and another not so main stream one.  Pink Love Bunny. Alexander and I decided to go on a mini mission to explore this unexplored sex shop and- if you'll please review the picture, that is what we found.

 

Welcome to the North East ladies and Gents!

 

This is the second time...

Seriously, tonight I got two more time wasters.

Its actually getting more ridiculous because every single one (I kid you not) has emailed and said they can't get out of a meeting.

Well gentlemen I think you should speak to your employers. If my hypothetical boss asked me to attend a hypothetical meeting at 8:30pm I would tell him to shove it up his hypothetical ass.

I like to think that all these guys worked for the same company and have the same boss who knows he's messing up their morning/afternoon/evening shags. Maybe they put it into their shared-with-the-boss-Google-Calenders like this:

"Monday 10th June 20:30
Submissive Charlotte"

Maybe with a picture of me grinning for good measure?

I like to hope their boss saw this on al four of their calendar and thought to himself "who is this utterly chic terribly deviant young woman?! I just gotta get me a bit of that!" and proceeded to sabotage their bookings so that he could appear at my Tuesday at 11:30 as a knight in shining armour?

Unbelievable you say?

Well its better than assuming you're all a bunch of tossers who can't keep a damn appointment.

I'm so excited !!

After all the drama of yesterday I got to thinking that a new style of submission would be refreshing for us all.

You all know I've wanted to move house for a while and offer domestic incalls which is more to a lot of you're tastes (and I'd enjoy being Shibari-ed to a bed more than the floor- or alternately a hoop) but don't worry the dungeon option will still be available for all you hardcore kinksters out there...

Does mean I'll have more availability though poor me .. and that I'll be able to have my dance pole up poor me...

Quick Rant

I need to seriously draw a line with some of the people who email me.

Been cancelled on/ stood up 4 times this week and enough is enough.

I'm pretty sure you (you from now on meaning those who could not be bothered to drop me an email) would not like to spend your time sat somewhere waiting for somebody who you have planned an appointment with not to show up.

Really annoys because (as you all know) I don't work from home and end up traveling for no reason as if I have nothing better to do.

Drives me mad.

So sorry, but now all bookings will have to have a request put through. Ran out of sitting-around-waiting-for-tossers-time.

On a lighter note here's a picture of my favourite pole pose by the lovely Felix Cane being generally magnificent as usual.

(for anyone that's interested its called superman and she is Miss Pole Dance World)

Its getting out of hand....

Like the good girl that I am, after sweating it out at the gym I decided it was time to get on with some maintenance and organisation of my internal (and indeed external) stimulator collection.

Turns out I have a lot.

As in, every time I found one there was another... and another and another...

And it occurred to me, why have some many when I could only use them one at a time? But could I use more than one at a time? A less adventurous person may say no but not I... no no no.

(you'll have to ask me on a booking to see what I managed... far too filthy for the internet!!)

But still, who needs this many? No wonder my friends are traumatized every time they come over.........

I would say its becoming a problem but a girls gotta eat.....

Any of you seen "The Great American Challenge" or something? My god its huge and I want one- simple as. I will Kegel exercise my socks off and practice  every day if I had one if those... then when I'd errr conquered it I'd keep it on the coffee table like a trophy.