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Sitting in the window of Costa on Holloway Road.

Trying to do the boring bits: adverts, features, taxes and all that jazz. Joking with one of my friends about being a hooker and doing advertising whilst sitting in a window. I aint Dutch.

Nothing productive is happening really. Spent too long convincing a friend whoring is a real job (he still wont ahem buy it) and made tentative plans for coffee with an ex working girl friends. Instead of my paperwork.

Reading more of the carcrashes that are saafe and ukpunting.. about to check out who the sisterhood are....

And here's a picture of me with my bra hanging out in a coffeeshop. Window. While advertising.

Holy cow.

Divine Decadence Darling. .

No I haven't been watching Cabaret again. I'm just getting excited about every little thing I can.

Ace and Kate are trying to get me to watch True Romance.  It's written by Tarantino so it has to be good but not directed by him so it won't be exceptional.  Plus its a "whore-flick" so it loses points from the beginning.

Whats a "whore-flick" you say? Its a movie about (but not limited to whoring. Silly.

NB. Regardless of the amount of whores Two And A Half Men doesn't count.

Some that do are:
-Cabaret (obviously)
-Breakfast at Tiffanys
-Chloe (or Natalie if you're French)
-Belle De Jour (yes and the Billie Piper show)
-Pretty Woman

-Girl Next Door
Almost counts.. she is a Pornstar after all..

Some that don't are:
-Full Metal Jacket
-Risky Business

I mean come the fuck on..

Lazy Girl.

Well not that lazy, just unproductive.

Lots to tell.

Firstly, I went back to Paris. Work thing obvs, it was very hot and I was more than a little dissapointed with the Parisienne Sex Shops. If your not into the gay scene (of the male variety) or homemade french pornos then it has to be vibrators which were not, by the way up to scratch.

Dissapointment all round.

A few days after I got back I went to a party at The Strand Palace Hotel. The thème was Monté Carlo so you can imagine the amount of LBD in the room (That stands for Little Black Dress boys) I wore pale pink since it was a hot night and its easier to get spilled Champagne out of cotton than silk. You may have noticed I took the day after off.

I spent a few days hanging around with Ace too. We spent an evening watching Harry Potter since my tolerance for horror movies is relatively low and I met him for lunch the next day. I didn't waste the morning though, new school shirts, panties and socks- could I ask for more? I also got listed in some new directories.

I met Kate while Ace went hunting for his friend who is staying with him for a few days and went to the pub.

A quiet few drinks we said.

As the night progressed I ended up swing dancing in Slim Jims with my bra in their collection the ceiling (if you can return my bra to me I will give you a half price session) and carrying Kate down Holloway Road. Just your typical sunday night... no, just me then?

The productivity is continuing. My new website www.londonsubmissivecharlotte.com is active and I have new duo partners to play with!! Keep your eyes pealed...

The Bondage Mistress

I really do look like a rather baffled sub in this picture.. I'm not surprised ! Taken by my wonderful client to see Mistress Miranda was an amazing experience but getting taught how to cane a man too? Well I couldn't have asked for more!

Keep your eyes pealed for videos and pictures coming soon ....

Glos Vegas

This weekend Ace and I went to Gloucester  to celebrate our friends birthday, his name is Pete. Pete drinks more than anyone in I know so I was more than a little worried about a night on the last with him.

It all went wrong after my 8pm on Friday. I would like to tell you the five unbelievable things that happened to me this weekend.

Was meant to be meeting a lovely gentleman from Florida for a GFE (which was cancelled as soon as he had established I was a genuine sub in favour of spanking me senseless...)

1) I actually went into the wrong hotel.

I had given the address to the cab driver then stupidly hadn't looked at the door.

However after sorting out my mess and enjoying a lovely session I got myself (late again) to Bar Soho to meet Ace and Holly. I met up with Holly in Leicester Square, we stopped looked at each other and went 2) "Champagne?" at the same time. We go to Bar Soho to find Ace with some of his friends already drunk, in true catch up form we bough our drinks and went off to dance. Two bottles later I went out to keep Holly company while we had a cigarette running into a couple of you guys on the way - I know it is odd isn't it ! and this rather dashing Italian by name of Michelangelo. If I'd had been in a better mood/ not just finished work/ not been out with Holly on the champagne then he might have had a chance in hell. We walked back in and almost fell over Ace grinding with this chick, and I started getting phone calls from Nate.

I know I haven't written about Nate for a while because we're pretty much finished now. And it wasn't amiable.

Lost the plot around 3am and 3) stormed of to a taxi demanding he takes me to</strong> one of my fave porn studios in Brighton. This is just stupid.
Sat up with Susie  (the producer of said studio) drinking more champagne - her choice... what was so special about last Friday?! until some of the boys came in. I'm just going to say now. Drunk Porn is bad.

As you may know I had Gloucester to be in on Saturday. So around 8am I decided to get a cab back to London and go meet Ace at Victoria to leave. Awful mood I was in so I sat and watched Ace ring me on my phone until deciding to stop being a bitch and call him back. He was nice as usual.
Totally late. He slept on my for the entire journey while I chatted to Master Alex and revised a fantasy in which I tie Ace up and lick him all over until he can't take and more. We'll get back to that later. Hotel I picked was lovely. If you stay in Cheltenham I recommend it- Thistle (you know me) 15 mins from Gloucester 10 minutes from Cheltenham, lifts are located about a mile away from the entrance which is a drag for the more nervous or indiscreet client (you know girls, the ones who call from the lobby.. amazing..)

Here there is a blank space where we went out clubbing, I didn't drink much after the previous night but man was I tired. Happy Birthday Pete.

After lunch we went to get the coach back at 12:30..except it was 12:15. I know. Amazing. So we went to a pub for an hour to wait for the next one which didn't work out either, you are all aware of my short temper. I insisted we got a train back, except we had to get a rail replacement to Swindon. My luck is never ending. Never loved the inside of Paddington Station so much though. Dragged Ace through the Paddington Bear shop- feel free to buy me a teddy bear anyone! We spent the rest of the day lazily walking around Hyde Park because I didn't know there was a Peter Pan statue there and it was a lovely day. And we saw some squirrels. Ace gave up on walking after about an hour (typical) so we continued to laze on the grass near some lads playing football while he explained cloud formations and how they could look like other things.

The fifth thing I did yesterday was watch Behind the Candelabra. Kate's idea but now I can't think of Nick Curran anymore. Nick didn't play piano. And he was fucking Catherine not Scott. Fantasy over.

Afternote

Hit up some wifi this afternoon to find:

Thousands of messages from you guys (I know, I know.. two more days- I'm already lubing up!)

WhatsApp was going mental.. Girls night with Rachel coming up... maybe some sexy pictures if you're lucky!
 

Bryan and Master Alex had SnapChatted the fuck out of me..
 

Kate and Holly had messaged me on Facebook... turns out there was a coach crash where everyone died horribly and they thought that a inbox message was enough to check I was still there.

Some of my friend's graduated today including D and Ace.
 

As usual Ace has plastered facebook with pictures of him and his class graduating. Not a squeak from D. Typical.
 

I have never found the graduation robes much of a turn on but whether I have discovered a new fetish or I just haven't gotten my claws into Ace for a week (...wait a second) he looks thoroughly edible. Maybe its because hes officially.. dare I say it - "Professional".
 

I have a serious proble- err perversion involving those of a profession or those who are gifted. Usually includes those in fields of science, mathematics or similar as well as those who speak multiple languages preferably of Mediterranean origin. A girl doesn't ask for much.

Par exempla. Ace and D as well as the poor soul who came before D fulfilled this criteria.
 

And I wonder why I'm always single.
 

I digress.

I'm sitting up at 2am on the balcony of the cabin we're staying in in Switzerland the night on the way to Paris. Totally wired.
 

So wired I may need to find a recent Computer Science grad to come unwire me.

With his teeth.
 

I am sceptical of what all this time (*cough* a week) on the continent has done to me. I am going to need a firm hand to correct my more than interesting behaviour when I get back.
 

Here's a picture of my sceptical expression.  Feel free to wipe it off my face in the coming weeks.
 

Secret Escape - Part 6 (red moon)

Luckily this is the last day before I go to Paris then back to London. Should probably mention here that I called it red moon because the moon was pretty and red last night. I didnt kill anyone.

Told my mum the job last night.
 

As expected she did not take it very well... there was lots of screaming and shouting as well as knocking back vodka anything typical of a council estate domestic really. Like your average middle class family does... Twenty minutes in and we got past anger to disgust.  "poor D- thats why he left you and Ace doesnt want you" as well as the usual derogatory comments and the "so how much do you charge" and so on into my expenses,
 

NB: D is my ex boyf who my mother gets on unreasonably well with. Not to sound feminist but we broke up because hes a jackass and I'm a bitch as opposed to he's a mathematical genius and I'm a whore which are also true...

Also the Ace situation. She couldn't tell me his last name never mind the dynamics of our relationship.
 

I do find it a little amusing how she thinks I'm some sort of streetwalker riddled with disease looking to fuel her heroine addiction parading around Soho in fishnet stockings and a low cut shirt (nice outfit- but only for clubbing.. I'm still Northern you know!)
 

Before I started escorting (when I lived in the student halls at Cally Road) my friend text to meet me at McDs in Kings Cross- the sketchy 24h one on the corner of Pentonville road and York Way.. we all know it.. so twenty to ten I throw on my hoodie and jeans and start wandering down York Way to meet him, I get to just past EGG club before I realise this bloke is following me, I psych myself up and turn around asking if I can help him. His reply.
 

"Want some business"
 

Oh sweet irony.