Dream Come True

I have my own spanking room. Or punishment room. Or whatever.

Not only is it almost completely sound proofed but I can fit a mirror, spanking bench chair and all 61 of my implements (Yeah.. I did just go count them)

all I need now is a St Andrews Cross and something to hang them up on and I'm all set!!

Watch this space !

No excuses

Not this time, I have been a very bad girl and I am in a lot of trouble. Having finally out slutted Soho and ran out of men to toy with in my usual haunt my partner in crime and I ventured further out into the depths of.. Islington.

As usual I was titties deep in tequila and disaster when a lovely young man suggested we went for "drinks" at his house round the corner in Old Street.

That is how I found myself getting fucked against a floor to ceiling glass window overlooking The City at 2am on Sunday morning. What I didn't expect was for him to take a second to stop pulling my hair and spank my bottom really hard. That really stung. That's also how I have a hand print sneaking out of where my tiny panties should be...

Wish you were here...

Literally.. Eleven days with no fucking is much too long. I am getting delirious and all but broke my Doxy when I arrived back in England from my trip to Italy.

Just like the first day of school after the summer, I have been gagging to get back to the "grind" if you will. Speaking of back to school, I have once again been to John Lewis sourcing the new seasons white socks and picking ties in new colours for all your most secret role plays as well as ordering in a selection of new toys straight from America to spicy up my already spicy fantasy room.

"But Charlotte! You already have everything, what could you possibly be collecting now?!"

Did someone say spoiled?

The cherry on top is my new wooden spoon from Chianti just outside of Florence, perfect for all those gentlemen in need of straightening out before the summer ends...

The "Date" (That was not to be)

Actually it was a blind date. It was the first one I've ever done and I sincerely think the last.

Since I am your average paranoid safety orientated London floozy I suggested we met in a bar. Where my friends work. So they could observe the fun and games. I rocked up to aforementioned pub near Charing Cross Road ten minutes early to brief the girls on the supposedly gorgeous Italian man I was about to meet. So mid gossip I receive this.

Bad start.

Then in front of an entire pub he almost gave me a hickey. a Love Bite. On me. (My friends were behind the bar howling. Utterly in tears) This man was very very handsome but had no idea whatsoever how to get a girl into bed and lets be honest. I'm easy it doesn't take much but lapping at my face like a dog is one of the ways not to.

I was wearing my new Harley Davidson tight as fuck, tits up to my chin shirt that one of my lovely guests got me and my skinny-may-as-well-be-skin jeans. Which he tried to shove his hand down. Leigh (my friend) spilled the pint she was pouring it was so hilarious. I don't know how many of you guys have tried to slip your hand down some tight jeans but it is uncomfortable and not to mention  we were sitting in the window!

It gets even better. When I suggested we might not create a Amsterdam Red Light District window in Central London he invited me to a place he knows in St James Park. Just down the road.

He meant IN the St James Park. Not an establishment in the area. In the park.

It was at this point I slunk back to soho to my usual haunt to give up forever on blind dates. I'll sit to phonecalls from you guys from now on!

Finished.

What is going on in Northern Europe?

I mean other than me being ridiculously gifted when it comes to snowboarding, just call me Princess Elsa. 

Well not much as far as your men are concerned Scandinavia. I maneuvered myself into the barren tundra of Lap Land for the entirety of last week and I swear to you the boys were actually scared of the girls, pity they are so blond with well structured cheekbones and.. It makes sense to me now how the beautiful elf-like waif of a girl I was staying with had been a virgin up until 3 months ago and it was not out of choice.

Somehow between leaving London and getting back to Finland she has racked up an incredible number of sexters and tinderers yet still pines for her handsome Portuguese ex boyfriend. 

I do understand one of my current team of gentlemen is Portuguese and he has the stamina of a race horse.

a note on job interviews.

A friend of mine from university text me this morning saying she had an interview to be a PA at a fashion media company. I replied suggesting she did whatever it took to get the job and attached this picture. Her reply was:

"NOT HELPFUL"

I thought it was very helpful advise.

Before I began full time debauchery I worked in soho at a PR company where would you believe it they actually encouraged the "sexy secretary" look (although we actually only had one receptionist and he was called Phil) so I guess it was for compensation.

I'm not sure if relevant that I was absolutely fantastic at doing my job but utterly abysmal at meeting my deadlines... but that s the reason I decided to quit... this kind of PR is more fun anyway!

"How sub are you?"

Or otherwise entitled "How to never meet me"

I get this question a lot and I don't understand why... it is outlined quite clearly on my website and I have a number of reviews detailing unspeakable acts of debauchery that I took part in with vigor. Submission for me is pleasing your (current) Dominant in which ever way that might be... so although I can't answer the question without meeting you and knowing your specific requirements Sir, in the interest of pleasing... let me give me a try.



I am so submissive that I manage to get tied in knots.

I am so submissive that I seem to always get into trouble

Therefore

I am so submissive that I get spanked

I am so submissive that I get scolded

I am so submissive that I can follow instructions... sometimes!

I am so submissive that I will kneel on the floor without question

I am so submissive that I will not answer back

I am so submissive that I will accept your authority without question... unless its too easy!

I am so submissive that I will dress up to please you

The Bratwatchers Guide.

I don't know if its the heat but I think I may have actually out Bratted myself this summer.

(And its still August)

So since I have won Brat Of The Week again I thought I better write a speech blog to celebrate.

From Princess Tantrums over spilt Champagne and sulking because I can't buy my new shoes yet the trouble seems to have reached highs of epic proportions and even the most seasoned of spankers are having trouble taking me (ahem) in hand.

I have included a short guide on how to spot a brats Princess Tantum. This could be useful to those in and around the Marylebone area of London... I hear there's a particularly turbulent one running riot around there...

The Princess Tantrum.
The Bratwatchers Guide

1. The Foot Stamp.

I tend to favor the right foot and usually performed with crossed arms and a pout when I'm told I cant have/ do something.

2. The smirk.

Usually but not always after the foot stamp upon deciding to have/do the forbidden thing anyway, also used when Brat knows she's in trouble but isn't ready to admit it yet.

3. The Please Please Please.

Does not mean please. Closes English translation is "I want I want I want" but Please sounds better than that and this is a Princess Tantrum.

4. The Flounce.

Verb: Go or move in an exaggeratedly impatient or angry manner.

Upon not getting one's own way.

5. The Spring.

The spring is when Brat springs up from her chair every times she sits down after her tantrum as it is usually followed by a good spanking.

Misbehaving again

I once heard a joke about an American psychologist who wanted to do some research regarding the sexual preferences of men who watched porn compared with those who didn't. Of course he never did his study because he couldn't find a single man who didn't watch porn.

So I know you'll have all seen at least one movie about the plumber coming to visit and fixing the hot girls "sink" and having the time of his life. It wasn't my sink it was the entire bathroom.

I came in on Saturday morning to find water all of the floor of pretty much my entire flat. After laughing at how funny it looked and taking my heels off the reality kind of hit me. When the plumber came he was not up for it either, he just looked annoyed that I got him up to com over on a Saturday morning. understandably and that he knew he wasn''t going to leave till the end of the afternoon. Which was wrong. He left at 8pm. Oops!

So I am extremely sorry to everyone I had to cancel on Saturday and thank you for being understanding. You all know I would have much rather been shagged stupid than held a torch for a man who was more excited by the prospect of fitting new taps than spanking my bottom. 

The silver lining of this is since I obviously couldn't have visitors so I went shopping. So my collection of filth has once again expanded.

Happy St Patricks and a Dilemma...

Firstly Happy St Patricks Day all all my Irish friends and everyone else.

This year Blondie told me that St Patrick chased all the snakes out of Ireland so they could drink their Guinness in peace which was what I should have been letting her do instead of wondering who St Patrick actually was, but shes Irish so she much be right!

Onto my dilemma. It was James (my ex boyf I'm still friends with)'s birthday on Sunday but as far as I know he was busy and I was drunk- see previous paragraph for details. So me and his most recent Ex Girlf who happens to look and act exactly like me hatched a plan.

STRINGFELLOWS.

Why not?

I haven't been for years and I'm pretty sure XG2 has never been. So, here's the question... what do you men like to eat?

All suggestions welcome and bonus points for anything I can get hold of in Covent Garden!

Calling all Billionaires

I have spent the best part of three days wondering how on earth I am going to write a review for a film with no story based on a book which is rather inaccurate "mummy" erotica with a pathetic female protagonist. And I very nearly didn't bother.

"What would I get out of all this?" Ana Steele
Not much I'm afraid. The film was rather bland with terrible acting and a sparse story line with artistic, stylised sex scenes to try to make it more interesting. I saw it a few weeks ago with Blondie and she had to keep shushing my signs of despair. Even she didn't enjoy it in the end.
The best part was definitely the soundtrack- Emma and I are hooked on Ellie Gouldings "Love me like you do". Fortunately this track was played over the helicopter scene with awesome views of Seattle, that I enjoyed.

"I don't make love. I fuck... hard" Christian Grey
This pretty much ruined the entire movie for me, after getting into the erotic mood that was beginning to come across complete with gifts like new sports cars, first editions, Apple laptop's. Trips to Seattle (in private helicopters) to his private penthouse- then he drops this bomb? Really? I did laugh. I'm sure they could have phrased this to sound less cringe and more domineering...


"The Red Room Of Pain"
What I did disagree with immensely was the way he used the flogger on her. (By the way it was a damn nice flogger so if anyone recognises where its from let me know!) Some people may be into heavy flogging on their stomach but I can't see how it can be healthy, I'm pretty sure we have internal organs there which could be seriously hurt. Which brings me onto the final Red Room scene. Belting her like that? She was crying and obviously not enjoying it. Even without a safeword he should have known to stop that. Its only saying to society that because he's into kink that when he's mad he can hurt her like that. Not warm up and after only taking implements for a few days prior. Can that really be the message that should be sent across?
So anyway. Is it that easy? 
I should think about this logically...
Ana is 21, an English literature student, a brunette, a submissive and a virgin. Like me.
Christian is 28, haughty, rather intelligent and wears a suit for work. Like Ace. (A Billionaire?)
Can it be that easy?

A bit over dramatic, but they did get the names of everything correct and the rope work was accurate (shibari geek much). But isn't referring to in in that sense making it sound scary? I didn't think BDSM was to do with being scared, anticipation yes... and a bit of pain here and there to make it interesting but scary is a different thing altogether. It makes me think of a medieval convent that's gone a bit awry or something from American Horror Story. I've worked and played in lots of dungeons around London and I have never been scared of them or their implements/ contraptions. 

Obligatory Valentines Day Post [Late]

I had to do it eventually so here goes...

Rather than rambling on about what I like and don't about Valentines Day I thought I'd list weird things instead... because lets be honest- every day is Valentines Day for me!

5. Letters to Juliet.

Not just a movie. Which is something I didn't know was a thing either but I'm going to watch it tonight. But thousands of people send letters into Verona all year but mostly on Valentines day addressed "Dear Juliet". What a lovely thing to do I thought to myself- thousands of love letters!
Wrong.
They are mostly letters with love problems who ask Juliet for help. She can't help, she was a 14 year old who ran off with the rebellious lad down the road then killed herself instead of thinking it through. Go eat some chocolate and cry you stupid bitches!

4. Girls ate unusual food to make them think of their future partner.
I actually tried this. I went to Shaka Zulu during the week before the 14th which is a bar/club by night and a trendy African restaurant during the day- well worth a visit if you're in town! In the spirit of ordering bizarre things I opted for ostrich burger and a shared starter of crocodile cigars. It made me think of Russell Crowe, so who knows...

3. The 1800's were busy.
Doctors in the 1800's advised heartbroken romantics to eat chocolate to fill the gaping void that lacking a sweetheart, left in their chests. Perhaps that's where "sweet"heart comes from? Either way by the late 1800's Richard Cadbury had began producing Valentines Day chocolate boxes. On a separate note Alexander Graham Bell applied for his patent for the telephone on Valentines Day 1876. I am thankful for this Call Girl sounds a lot better than Carrier Pigeon Girl

2. In Finland Valentines Day is translated into Friends Day.
I can only assume this means you should go and get lashed with the girls rather than watch 50 shades of Grey with your other half (see next blog for review). More than likely though one should go one a date with one of the poor guys you've friendzoned which leads me into the most unusual thing about Valentines day...

1. I had a date with a man.
Other than being 20 minutes late thanks to traffic at Trafalgar Square, I showed up to a wonderful tequila bar in Covent Garden to a (now friendzoned) decent bloke. Bar came complete with sombrero wearing Mexicans and a fabulous list of Margaritas which I got right on.

...Around Margarita number 4...

 Mr Valentine says "Don't you have work tomorrow?"
Charlotte with no brain "Oh yes but its a photoshoot in the afternoon!"
Mr Valentine "Oh wow you're a model!"
Charlotte with brain working "Yes, a fashion model in fact, but I'm freelance and only do runway so don't try to find any pictures..."
Mr Valentine "ah thank god... I thought you might have been into that weird S&M bollocks"

Weird S&M bollocks you say...?

Addiction Level: Slut.

As my twitter followers know very well if I'm not too busy I start putting together new outfits (its worse now I have a sewing machine.

These are my two newest... and I have a PVC maid one but that's a surprise for later...

My costume collection has expanded from fitting into my handbag two years ago to filling two wardrobes,and six draws (IKEA draws by the way, not a little cabinet). 

My first costume was a tacky pink schoolgirl one piece dress. How embarrassing. The best part was when on leaving a sketchy hotel in a sketchy part of town I forgot to wipe off my freckles off and wondered why I was getting funny looks from the hotel staff. Dire!

There's a reason I prefer incall, plus can you imagine the looks I'd get in Parklane trying to drag my F Machine out of the back of a taxi! Oh dear... I'm sure it would only happen to me...

"Can I help you with your bags Madam?"

I probably shouldn't have bought another nurse costume though... that makes it up to 10 that I have... but then again I didn't have a pink one so I think its justified. And lets be honest, with a name like General Punishment I couldn't resist the other one. Camouflage is so 2013... and the skirt rides up perfectly. If I do say so myself.

Early Bird

Otherwise known as why getting up at 5am is better than 7am.

I get more done between 5 and 9 then 9 to 5.

I could never work a 9 to 5. Mostly because I hate rush hour and I have my also morning person personal trainer most mornings 9-10. All my fun begins around 11 and I couldn't possibly miss that!

Luckily this is London and Harmony (you all know how I love that shop) opens at 9am which is perfect if I can convince the PT that 9:30 is a better time to train. Oh the looks I've got walking into the gym on a morning dripping with blatantly obviously black shiny sex shop bags and a smile like the Cheshire Cat.

Morning is also smoothie time. I love making a mess. I can't even help it. Ask Ace... But since I got my new blender just before Christmas making a mess has been top of my list on a morning.

However I'm a speedy kind of girl and although mornings are rather busy I always get finished with... "me" time to spare...

Decadent December

As well you know Sir I am a nefarious little creature, more than a little prone to getting myself into wicked situations.

Unfortunately I have let myself get behind on my blogs (I know exactly who will be coming to straighten that out) so here is my account of one of my more hilarious night's in the last month of 2014 and what a jolly good time I had.

Well I think I out partied Paris Hilton and was so cheeky Betty Boop would have blushed. Which is saying something.

It all started when Blondie called me suggesting we had a night out. As I'd missed her birthday drinks due to an early morning spanking commitment (naughty Charlotte) I was obliged to accept the invitation. She took me to a fetish club. No jokes.

Charlotte's Top Five Unbelievable Things That Actually Happened In Said Club.

1. Tossed Blondie's pole dancer girl fiend off the pole and gave her a quick "how to" on not looking like an idiot. Then proceed to walk in on the two of them fucking. (Cheer's B!)
2. Drank half a glass of tequila. Then another. Then another. NB This might seem quite believe able but it was cheap and nasty taking a shot is unbelievable.
3. Having to teach my best friend to cane a man. In latex. Over the bar. 
4. Finding to my great amusement that I can actually talk my way into everything, even an unfortunate Oxford Grad's flat in Chelsea. #slut
5. Realising that group sessions actually are quite fun, even after all my constant rants about "How shagging more than 3 other people at once works" Because I have learnt it does.

Lets talk about the next day.

I was obviously drunk in the morning so after a brief God-Help-Me sober up stop at Brinkley's (If anyone every wants to bring me breakfast from there you don't need to ask just do) we hit Oxford Street to buy clothes, shoes and otherwise laugh at everything in a santa hat, namely in Ann Summers. Blondie looked about and I rang my receptionist who asked where I was.

"I'm in Ann Summers at Marble Arch" I replied perhaps a tad too loud "but don't worry I won't be buying anything- I already own all the Giles Deacon and the rest is tacky!" Without a doubt too loud.

Blondie slunk to the counter and paid for her barely there lingerie which yes, was Giles Deacon. The staff were not impressed and the security guard looked like he wanted to put us over his knee himself! Not that I'd have minded anyway.

Lines due before 15/12/2014 13:00

I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.

Or will I...

Foursome and Fucking Machine

Part One: Foursome

So that happened.
I hardly ever have firsts these days, but this was one of them.

Sir was cast as the criminal who was taken sick after being sentenced to life in prison and transferred to the prisons medical wing to be whipped into shape by Matron Tammy and her two unruly assistant nurses, Charlotte and Emma.

Charlotte and Emma couldn't seem to keep a straight face and kept laughing at The Prisoner especially when Matron had to take his temperature,.. When Matron left the room they prodded and poked at him pulling at this and that and otherwise tormenting he Prisoner, making him pull at his restraints which only served to make the girls giggle more. Sadly for the girls they were having so much fun they didn't hear Matron come back in... she soon put a stop to their wicked games...

Since I get too excited about these things, here's a picture of Emma and I in our Christmas outfits!


Part Two: F Machine

Let me set the scene. Its 8:45 on Tuesday morning, it is freezing cold. There has been rain for about 4 hour already and the options are either snuggle up on the sofa in pyjamas and do some web design or go to "Rocket Yoga" as Bikram is cancelled.

Nay said I not wanting to participate in either option.

Ace was at work so no use whatsoever to me (yes he is still still about, yes I will write about him soon to all the dirty perverts who keep asking me about my sordid sex life...)

So the obvious choice was to grab a man to carry my purchases and head down to Harmony on Oxford Street. Alex?

"The Mean Reds? Well, when I get them the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Harmony. Calms me down right away. The sordidness and the filthy look of it; nothing unconsentually bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that'd make me feel like Harmony, then - then I'd buy some furniture and give the Sybian a name!"

Holly Golightly. Edit: Charlotte Campbell.

I got to Harmony just after 10 in the pouring rain after having an explosion of excitement on my twitter page. I marched straight downstairs to my fave fetish fanatic and announced I was buying the Fucking Machine.

"Are you actually?!" He said excitedly boxing it up while I paid on my card (This is why one must declare income, can you imagine having to pay for an obscene about of fuckery in cash? Thats what I call public humiliation.

Now my F Machine sits majestically next to my new mirrors waiting for me to flick the ON switch.

And Yes, it is sitting on my coffee table.

Charlottes Fantasy Playroom Makeover!

Every girl should have the playroom of her dreams. Now I'm halfway there

Turns out I bought so much kit there was nowhere to put it. Newest additions to the collection are this wonderful stand-in-Sybian until my one is replaced and my magical new toy which shall remain nameless until it's delivery from America oh yes.

I have a new Hitachi wand. And I found out how to use it on all of you lovely men and of course the classic way for all you women.

I got a beautiful ruler from #MrMark as a present and couldn't contain my excitement and the new line of Giles Deacon percussive implements. I bought the lot for my naughty corner...

I have a new tv for all my dirty film's and a new sound system on the way as of tomorrow with new music... And to be quite honest I didn't think I needed an updated playlist until I found myself performing a torrid oral act upon a wonderful gentlemen to Rossini's William Tell Overture.

It sounds like a movie.

I have a wall covered in mirrors and a proper school desk complete with blackboard and school chair.

As always my spanking bench is still hanging about but please keep you're eyes open for all my other additions. I wanted to unveil all the fuckery at once but everything traveling from The States has been delayed by this Black Friday malarkey...

Who do you have to screw to get a wall restraint around here?!

Not So Submissive Charlotte

A few days ago I got an email asking if I could wrestle and if so do I think I could pin a man down.

Yes Sir! I replied hoping I wasn't (or was) talking to Tony Stark. On reflection I thought better of it, I'm 155cms tall not particularly muscular and lets be honest. I am Submissive Charlotte.

That evening I took myself off for a martial arts class. I did rather well and got asked to have dinner after by the Sensei which I did. He was very nice but insanely dull and "enlightened" whatever that means...

So this morning I chose to skip the gym and have scrambled eggs with salmon and kale for breakfast (YUM) but unfortunately I am an  impulsive girl and this has become the norm as opposed to a treat. Plus I get up just before 6am and I have loads of time before Yoga!

Anyway, I digress...

Sir arrived exactly on time and much to my dismay wasn't Tony Stark (You're much better looking Sir!). After all had been sorted I asked how he thought a good way to go about beginning a wrestling match was, obviously I have no ring in my apartment. He suggested we simply jump to. We did. Turned out I am really good at it. Sir couldn't get up at all!

Rather humiliating for him I must say, a grown man pinned down by a girl leaving himself fully exposed?

Now really.


And yes. That is me in my wrestling mask. Not bought for the occasion (obviously as thats a shot from my last shoot) but I knew it would come in useful some day. 

I wasn't joking when I say I have everything Sir...

ABDL - Charlottes first encounter!

A few weeks ago my friend put on a documentary (unsurprisingly by channel 4) focused on Adult Babies and Diaper Lovers.

No idea what that is?  Read the sentence again because that's basically the it! Anyway I posted this shortly after on twitter and ever since I have been inundated with enquiries for the service.

Well I did it.

I got some diapers ordered and hit up the chemist and by this morning I was sorted!

Sir arrived and explained what he was after... For a nerve racking moment I thought he was going to dress me up!

"Don't worry Charlotte" he said "that's for next time..."

The role play was the Strict Aunty and the naughty boy next door she was babysitting.  I think I pulled it off rather convincingly and I even managing to administer a firm enough over the knee spanking!

Sir left with a smile on his face so that's got to be a winner!