Lines due before 15/12/2014 13:00

I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.
I have been a little madam since I've been here and will take a sound spanking from Sir.

Or will I...

Foursome and Fucking Machine

Part One: Foursome

So that happened.
I hardly ever have firsts these days, but this was one of them.

Sir was cast as the criminal who was taken sick after being sentenced to life in prison and transferred to the prisons medical wing to be whipped into shape by Matron Tammy and her two unruly assistant nurses, Charlotte and Emma.

Charlotte and Emma couldn't seem to keep a straight face and kept laughing at The Prisoner especially when Matron had to take his temperature,.. When Matron left the room they prodded and poked at him pulling at this and that and otherwise tormenting he Prisoner, making him pull at his restraints which only served to make the girls giggle more. Sadly for the girls they were having so much fun they didn't hear Matron come back in... she soon put a stop to their wicked games...

Since I get too excited about these things, here's a picture of Emma and I in our Christmas outfits!


Part Two: F Machine

Let me set the scene. Its 8:45 on Tuesday morning, it is freezing cold. There has been rain for about 4 hour already and the options are either snuggle up on the sofa in pyjamas and do some web design or go to "Rocket Yoga" as Bikram is cancelled.

Nay said I not wanting to participate in either option.

Ace was at work so no use whatsoever to me (yes he is still still about, yes I will write about him soon to all the dirty perverts who keep asking me about my sordid sex life...)

So the obvious choice was to grab a man to carry my purchases and head down to Harmony on Oxford Street. Alex?

"The Mean Reds? Well, when I get them the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Harmony. Calms me down right away. The sordidness and the filthy look of it; nothing unconsentually bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that'd make me feel like Harmony, then - then I'd buy some furniture and give the Sybian a name!"

Holly Golightly. Edit: Charlotte Campbell.

I got to Harmony just after 10 in the pouring rain after having an explosion of excitement on my twitter page. I marched straight downstairs to my fave fetish fanatic and announced I was buying the Fucking Machine.

"Are you actually?!" He said excitedly boxing it up while I paid on my card (This is why one must declare income, can you imagine having to pay for an obscene about of fuckery in cash? Thats what I call public humiliation.

Now my F Machine sits majestically next to my new mirrors waiting for me to flick the ON switch.

And Yes, it is sitting on my coffee table.