Happy St Patricks and a Dilemma...

Firstly Happy St Patricks Day all all my Irish friends and everyone else.

This year Blondie told me that St Patrick chased all the snakes out of Ireland so they could drink their Guinness in peace which was what I should have been letting her do instead of wondering who St Patrick actually was, but shes Irish so she much be right!

Onto my dilemma. It was James (my ex boyf I'm still friends with)'s birthday on Sunday but as far as I know he was busy and I was drunk- see previous paragraph for details. So me and his most recent Ex Girlf who happens to look and act exactly like me hatched a plan.

STRINGFELLOWS.

Why not?

I haven't been for years and I'm pretty sure XG2 has never been. So, here's the question... what do you men like to eat?

All suggestions welcome and bonus points for anything I can get hold of in Covent Garden!

Calling all Billionaires

I have spent the best part of three days wondering how on earth I am going to write a review for a film with no story based on a book which is rather inaccurate "mummy" erotica with a pathetic female protagonist. And I very nearly didn't bother.

"What would I get out of all this?" Ana Steele
Not much I'm afraid. The film was rather bland with terrible acting and a sparse story line with artistic, stylised sex scenes to try to make it more interesting. I saw it a few weeks ago with Blondie and she had to keep shushing my signs of despair. Even she didn't enjoy it in the end.
The best part was definitely the soundtrack- Emma and I are hooked on Ellie Gouldings "Love me like you do". Fortunately this track was played over the helicopter scene with awesome views of Seattle, that I enjoyed.

"I don't make love. I fuck... hard" Christian Grey
This pretty much ruined the entire movie for me, after getting into the erotic mood that was beginning to come across complete with gifts like new sports cars, first editions, Apple laptop's. Trips to Seattle (in private helicopters) to his private penthouse- then he drops this bomb? Really? I did laugh. I'm sure they could have phrased this to sound less cringe and more domineering...


"The Red Room Of Pain"
What I did disagree with immensely was the way he used the flogger on her. (By the way it was a damn nice flogger so if anyone recognises where its from let me know!) Some people may be into heavy flogging on their stomach but I can't see how it can be healthy, I'm pretty sure we have internal organs there which could be seriously hurt. Which brings me onto the final Red Room scene. Belting her like that? She was crying and obviously not enjoying it. Even without a safeword he should have known to stop that. Its only saying to society that because he's into kink that when he's mad he can hurt her like that. Not warm up and after only taking implements for a few days prior. Can that really be the message that should be sent across?
So anyway. Is it that easy? 
I should think about this logically...
Ana is 21, an English literature student, a brunette, a submissive and a virgin. Like me.
Christian is 28, haughty, rather intelligent and wears a suit for work. Like Ace. (A Billionaire?)
Can it be that easy?

A bit over dramatic, but they did get the names of everything correct and the rope work was accurate (shibari geek much). But isn't referring to in in that sense making it sound scary? I didn't think BDSM was to do with being scared, anticipation yes... and a bit of pain here and there to make it interesting but scary is a different thing altogether. It makes me think of a medieval convent that's gone a bit awry or something from American Horror Story. I've worked and played in lots of dungeons around London and I have never been scared of them or their implements/ contraptions.