Armed Forces Discount

Guys please.

I've had 4 emails this week asking specifically for an Armed Forces Discount. 

I support the Armed Forces extensively and will help aiding the cause but boys... Be careful what you wish for...

Spanking Saturday

After a lie in (9am?!) and an episode of Boardwalk Empire- if you interested I'm on season two and its really really good, a definite must watch! As well as having to actually deal with the fact Ace might be moving abroad for work (I know... It's heartbreaking) I decided to pop into my all time favorite department store to check out luggage for my trip to Florence I'm planning at the end of April.

Who should I run I to? But Nate (you remember him from this time last year, incase you don't he's a porn star I worked with for a while and it didn't end amiably..) anyway it amazing what Champagne and oysters can fix especially from The Selfriges Food Court. 

As I'm not a big drinker, until 7pm anyway I thought a coffee may be in order and hit up Antonio's coffee shop in Marylebone. No silly it's not called Antonio's. But they do a very decent latte, one even Ace couldn't complain about. Since then I've been sitting whatsapping (is that a verb?) to Warren an old friend of mine from finishing school who is taking me to an unexplored dungeon (and for dinner) next Saturday evening in the city.

Oh I am so exciting, not often I get to run amok in my panties in a soundproofed room filled with whips and chains. It's a big different going from working in a hardcore playroom with suspension equipment and cages to a more domestic setting. Not that I hate working in Marylebone you understand, indeed I love it but obviously a love in the less locked in a dark room kind of way.

Watch this space.

Whoremaggedon

Is what my friend told me when I told him I would be late for our breakfast meeting due to a stocking crisis. 

It brightened up what would have been a dull Tuesday morning. Not that dear Ace didn't brighten it up..

We went to our local cafe for a tea before I disappeared off for a day of dubauchery and after looking very thoughtfully into his cup said to me perfectly seriously:

"Char, you know when you walk sheep?" 

I lost complete control of my faculties. Another utterly hilarious and perfectly innocent statement from Ace.

He meant heard (sp?) not walked, as in with a sheepdog. Incidentally.

But yes Tuesday is looking up! And it's only 10:30...

The assertion of Dominance and willingness to submit in Andrew Lloyd Webber's Phantom of the Opera, regarding in particular the similarities between Le Opera Populaire and Casa Sub Charlotte.

Forward.

This essay has been a long time coming, my twitter followers (@subcharlotte) are always hearing my bitching on the subject. I am a long time Gerard Butler fan and I'm not going to lie most of my observations are based on the 2004 film rather than Webber's original musical but they're very similar and I saw the show for the first time last night.

Dedication.

I also dedicate this piece of writing to my personal Lord and Viscount De Chagny- Master Alex.

Discussion.

I think we should start with the most obvious point suggesting the relationship between Christine Daae and The Phantom is D/s, she calls him master.

"Enter at last Master" (Angel of Music) 

Blatantly really, we could also take that literally from the name of that particular song Angel of Music as he is referring to himself as a higher being than her which I  find is more common in Mistresses who insist on referring to themselves as goddesses. Indeed his self styled persona as: The Opera Ghost or Phantom also suggests that he considers himself on a higher (different?) plane to the mere actors, musicians and producers at "his opera house"

Really don't think I need to write this part but how many spanks would I get (hypothetically) if I didn't call you Sir, Sir?

It might be far fetched but is it just me who notices Christine is alway in pale colours? Ballet white robe, white dress... I think she wears a gold one with rice colours for Think Of Me in the stage production but wears er.. White in the film. Now if my English teacher didn't lie to me I could swear white connotes innocence, purity... Goodness? Therefore obedience an compliance? 

While we're here how many of you dress my up in my school uniform which has a white shirt and suggests all the above things? Sir I think you just got analysed... If it should *cough* please you...

Her best outfit is when she's in the chorus rehearsing for Hannibal in a bra and some panties with strong coming of them and actual cuffs and chains. No hidden meaning there. Although one could assume the cuffs are symbolic to her treacher... 

Just like most of you Phantom is always sloping about in a damn sharp suit. Point made.

Seems like another point but you guys always have me kneeling on the floor. Webber couldn't exactly ask his Christine to kneel, much too explicit for a musical. (although I think the more erotic would have gotten much more men to volunteer to go instead of being forced by their sub-in-the-closet other halves) Phantom is alway on a higher part of the stage than Christine. Constantly. Watch it and you'll see what mean which is ironic I think as he lives in the bowels of the theatre.

I find this ironic because he lives in a dungeon. I like dungeons. I spend 18 months working in one. I love the whole thing about them and lucky lucky Charlotte is going to one next month with some of the boys from The Academy. Yeah it's irrelevant to this and what my tutor would call "waffle" but yay anyway! 

In conclusion I think that whatever relationship that was going on with Andrew Lloyd Webber and Sarah Brightman must have been so much fun if he managed to pull out a musical with this must tension in it.

Reference. Or not.

 As an after note Gaston sweetheart, I read the translation and the original novel in French (that was a chore for a 14 year old) and the story is different so no copywriter infringement.

Wayward Wednesday.

You all know because I haven't stopped going on about it.

I was 21 on Wednesday.

Since it was such a special occasion I rounded up the gang and dressed them up in finery and ordered them to meet me at a different restaurant to the ones I usually go to. Lets be honest, I'm a Gaucho's kinda girl- that or I go for Italian. Namely Carluccio's. No since it was so super special and I had been making a big deal of it I decided Galvin at Windows was the best option to go for.

French cuisine and right on top of the Parklane Hilton with views across Kensington and Westminster. I was fully in my element as was Ace and Alex (respectively sat on my right and left like good boys) James, my sister, Baby Campbell and my sisters girlfriend were not.

James was going on like Jack Dawson in Titanic..
"Which knife do I use?!"
I did laugh a bit, we all know its from the outside in. I don't think he'd ever came across a fish knife before. Poor man. At least he scrubbed up well. James has the perfect proportions for a suit except his neck which is slightly thicker than most. A body builder did you say? No... A racing driver? Don't be so silly... He works in advertising!

Baby Campbell and her girlfriend sat opposite me next to James, this was cleverly engineered by me so I could keep and eye on the three of them. I was extremely surprised that she ate the leek she was given. Father Campbell would have been proud. Her girlfriend I was rather impressed with as this is the first time I was meeting her and had almost expected her to hide in the corner and not join in like the last one but I couldn't have been more wrong. Within minutes she was cracking jokes at James' expense. Good girl.

Alex looked amazing. Alex had a handkerchief in his pocket which looked excellent (he got the new suit especially) he got me "Why men marry Bitches" its a self help book about how to be a bitch. I do Domme sessions, I think that's enough haha!

And Ace, Italian men always seem to outdo every other man in the room when it comes to suits, in fact fashion in general (he asked me if I thought him common this morning!!) I always find they seem to be drunk on prosecco and poise all at once. Of course there is a huge difference between Italian and traditional Saville Row suits. Firstly because the British ones use slight cuts and stiffer fabric to make up for any difference in shape or build where as Italian one are designed with a slimmer lapel and require an more Adonis-esque physique, something I find looks excellent on Ace.


 

Steak and Blow Job Day

Finally an excuse to write about how much I LOVE giving blow jobs.

Not just jumping on the Steak and Blow Job thing, you can ask Ace.

I would do it all day if I could (almost can) and would continue all evening if Ace didn't have work/pub/a life. I really would, I could do it for hours. It's great.

And you all know because you've pretty much all asked what my favourite kink is (in different variations) and then all laughed at something so "ordinary" although I don't think that's the correct word.

I've even shared my enthusiasm with Ace who seems to think it's rather amusing and seems to think it is some form of Hysteria (read previous posts).

We hit Wholefoods after Harmony last night and picked up Steak for the occasion and watched the first few episodes of Broadwalk Empire which is amazing by the way, guess what. The lot of them are rather attractive. Especially this one guy, Lucky Luciano. Jesus. 

Didn't take me long to get hold of Ace after that- fantastic sex by the way, he did the restraining thing again... It's making my mouth water while I type. Utterly sickening.

Irritating as I'm not at his tonight and can't rope him into some sort of sordid marathon.

I have a friend call Lulu, she used to work at Stringfellows with me. She's tall and slim with long blonde hair, a beautiful complexion and an extremely pretty face. She was such a popular girl at the club having at least 10 regulars a night- no joke.

Lulu has such perfect skin and a divine figure because she's a vegan. Did I mention she's also a lesbian? And a feminist but that's irrelevant.

My question is: What the fuck did she do on Steak and Blow Job Day?!

Filthy.

I'm not scared to admit it. I am a lightweight. I was a teensie bit out of sorts this morning from my drinking binge last night.

Oh yes. I drank two pints of larger. And five glasses of water. Move aside gentlemen.

Don't judge me. I learnt a new drinking game. Its called mushroom and its very tense.
The object is to pick a card and guess if its red or black, if you get it right you chose a friend to drink for the number of seconds on the card or if you got it wrong you do it yourself at which point said cardholder must place the card onto the central pint glass (which had been previously filled with some of everyone's drink) making sure that two of the corners are out at a right angle. After a while it starts to look like a mushroom. Get it.

I didn't knock them off thank god.

Anyway, least I wasn't the roughest this morning Ace wasn't looking so great, I think I got three words out of him, fabulous. Rocked into work around 9:45 for an early morning gossip with Submissive Emma and here's where it gets interesting.

I have this friend who I don't write about to often, he's a little high profile- and no its not a professional relationship. Anyway he called me and said he was in the Landmark Hotel for something about something and whatever it was wasn't starting till a bit later so would I like a glass of champagne and a catch up (did I mention he's full of himself?) and I am extremely pleased I went.

There is nothing, and I mean nothing on gods green earth as good as recreational sex. Not that he was particularly great (sorry, I know you read this) or different than any other late twenties, middle class, Eton educated (well dressed?) young man I might pick up in a club. Its the little kinks that make it interesting.

I told you all about Ace and his restraining thing already [insert shivers here] although recently I observe that either I'm repulsive or he's more stressed than usual. And I'm just saying I have gotten over 110 reviews now so I cant be that bad. And my lovely client today gave me a new vibrator, my god I really am an animal.

Speaking of new! New electric clamps, of yes. Nurse Charlotte's office is right this way Sir it should please you to follow me.

You know you have a problem when...

You can't admit it to yourself(ves).

Which we can't, we as in magnificent Ace and I. Well indeed, we do have a problem.

Although I wouldn't consider it a problem, not for me anyway. Ok, I'll take deep breathes and just come out with it...

So I have these friends yeah and they have the best sex ever, and I mean the really good kind. Anyway Ac- *cough* Aaron has friends stay over lot and sometimes let's Char...leize, Charize stay over too. Well she just can't keep her goddamn hands off him and he has no willpower irregardless of who's present.

Yeah, yeah I know what you mean. They make me sick too, no sense of decency, self control and least of all morals.

One could even call that exhibitionism, those vile excuses for human beings...

Sorry what? You think I'm talking about Ace and I..? Don't er... Don't be silly Sir, we're much too proper for that kind of 'hanky-panky' dontcha know Dear!

F&M!!

Thats what I exclaimed in horror last weekend to Master Alex in Fornum and Mason while we were having our Afternoon Blend tea and clotted cream and jam scones for lunch the day after one of our best friends moved back to Ireland.

He said to me. "Charlotte... why does it say S&M on all the baskets?" I stopped and looked around as gracefully as I could since as we all know the finer places in life which the more distinguished society resides is just another form of bondage, every good girl can keep her grace in bondage.

Needless to say it didn't say S&M on the baskets. It said F&M.

Although I do think that I could fit in one of the larger hampers, which in turn brings around the question being asked since "50 Shades of Grey" reared its obnoxious head: Are the middle classes into Kink?

Well obviously yes. And heres why.

The Romans, who yes I know I bang on about them were my favorite empire. In this case they're my favorite because they had the worlds first ever "registered" orgies. Yes registered making them exclusive (relatively similar to Killing Kittens) to those of greater means. The Romans also created the word "Cunt" which one can never be thankful enough for. As well as Nero being a connoisseur of bondage and bestiality. Oh Yes.

Also as we know the Romans coined the first sex slaves as we all know the Master/slave roleplay is a huge part of S&M but in Rome they were living it as there was no distinction between sex and lifestyle which made it perfectly acceptable. As was corporal punishment. And was (more often than not) administered to those rather bad slaves on a daily basis. Now why not.

Also prostitution was legal (as it was in Italy during the Renaissance Period as I found out yesterday.) maybe David Cameron should have a think about that before making paying escorts illegal. Because Sir its not going to stop anyone trust me, 70% of my guys have convinced themselves its illegal anyway yet I still see them every week. Also on the subject Prostitutes could be publicly flogged through the streets by the government simply for being wretched, filthy shameful women. I challenge anyone from The Cabernet to flog me down Oxford Street, I wont charge them and I will enjoy it. Mostly because I assume they'd be more humiliated than I. Onto the Victorians.

I assume BDSM in the Victorian Era, which I consider "modern" came about because of all the sexual oppression going on in public causing the again seemingly more well off gentlefolk to go mental once their servants had been dismissed. (Not slaves, that would have been rather controversial as slavery had been abolished 5 years previous to Victoria ascending to the throne). I think its hilarious. Women were not meant to enjoy sex never mind consider orgasms and sex was only allowed for married coupled and that was exclusively for conception, and sir don't even think about masturbation as that is a sin. Naughty.

Women who did enjoy sex we're shunned as Nymphomaniacs or locked up in asylums with Hysteria. Yes locked up. In these asylums they tied you up put ice cubes on you, flogged you, gave you electric shocks and finally given a "pelvic massage" from the nurse. To help get rid of your Hysteria. Wouldn't have helped me on bit, I believe people pay good money for that now. (If your interested the bit about Hysteria is from The Sex Myth by Dr Brooke Magnianti AKA Belle De Jour).

The most exclusive brothel in London during that time was supposed to have been the first commercial dungeon although seemly a little too archaic for my tastes. It included stretchers and rings fitted at different heights to fasten the wrists on women and children to. Yes Children, how that was ever acceptable I do not know...

The practice of figging was also introduced at this time which involves putting a beautifully carved piece of ginger into your partners rectum, I hear this burns rather painfully for a while.

And no Sir it is not in my services list.

Taking one for the team.

Five reasons I support taking one for the team.

5. My team is Sunderland FC.

We do not change teams. We do not bitch about losing although we do a lot and we do not give up under any circumstances.

4. Ace´s team is Juventus.

If you hadn´t guessed he´s Italian by now your stupid. Juventus has a black and white strip, similar to our local nemisis Newcastle. For this reason I will never wear my lovers team colours, its not personal its just common sense.

3. I like cats.

I like every kind of cat. I just cant stop thinking about them. Anyway I am a cat lover and I love to run... We happen to be The Black Cats.

2. Kudos to Man City.

Although we lost rather dismally at Wembley. Not that I am anything less than utterly disappointed really. Seriously. I´m a good loser.

1. Definition: Taking one for the team.

This is the point I wanted to get to.
Oh yes.

I had a lovely gentleman come in the other day. He said I was going to be punished for 3 things.
-When I worked in Barnet he had previously arranged to see me and I got stuck in traffic.
-When he tried to come in the other day it was on one of the other girls days.
-Its a mystery, I´ll have to wait and see.

He had settled on giving me six of the best, I guessed that was from the third thing I needed punishing for.  I took my hand spanking still wondering what it was...

Sir stood me up from his knee and told me to bend over the bed.

"you could just say you support Newcastle?" He said
SMACK
"I personally support Man City" he continued.
SMACK
SMACK
SMACK
SMACK
SMACK

I stood up again and turned around to Sir with my hands on my head like a good girl. I´d much rather be paddled than say I support Newcastle.

And that my friends is the epitome of "Taking One For The Team"

or six....