IKEA

As mature, independent woman. I have successfully sorted myself out. Working in Barnet (although it allowed use of a great space) was not what I was looking for and working with Natalie in Baker Street has definitely improved that.

My friend Crystal from back home (who I learned to pole dance with remember) is in crisis mode well it wouldn't be my life if someone wasn't...

Well. You guys know how I love traveling. We're going to Turkey. In November to be ever so cultured and civilised.

Public Transport

I hate public transport. With a fiery passion.

In London I am actually unable to take a single trip without a delay of some sort anyway. This is how I have become accustomed to taking cabs everywhere.

Its an extremely expensive habit. Usually costing a minimum of £20. Not always quicker but most of the time much less stress inducing.

Ace teases me about it. He says Ill get a cab down the street. I won't but it is an amusing idea.

Unless its Holloway Road in which case I think I'm allowed.

Tonight was Kate's birthday thing, in Leicester Square. I like Central London. Mostly because it looks like I'm in a movie but also because its so different to the North East. All the buildings have 5 floors and there's 'City Types' yeah.. that's what some of the girls call you lot, its such a novelty to see loads of blokes dressed super smart in the evening having drinks. Back home all the boys go out on jeans and triple x tee shirts. Wasn't until I ran off early to see a regular of mine that I realised I never leave Islington.

I mean I live there now, Ace lives there, so does Kate and BC... Holly and Alex live in Tottenham and (deep) South London respectively. But our regular pub is in Islington, and my favourite restaurant... so is university. Its a little tragic.

Still annoyed from yesterday, any volunteers to correct my sulky attitude?

Leafy North London

So I need to apologise for all the neglect I have given to my emails, texts and phonecalls recently. Totally off for me (I know, I know) but I'm back to normal now!

As all my regulars know I've moved house to a beautiful part of North London, something I've been planning on doing for a year. As if moving was the most difficult part, I thought it would be. No, it was the unpacking, who knew I had so much stuff! Luckily I had Alex on had with orange juice and a heavy duty bin liner to get me through it.

Anyway that was two days ago, since then I've had to deal with IKEA flat packs. Didn't even know where to start, I needed to get divine Ace to come and sort it out. He kind of did, bless him, he couldn't get very far without a hammer.

Not used to having to deal with spiders on my own either, extremely proud since I caught and removed one yesterday night.

Today? Today I'm starting to get back into my life after having some time out. Its Kates birthday party tonight and James has already been on the phone winding me up. I really don't know if I can be bothered to drag myself down to Holloway to sit in Costa for hours on end... plus he tends to disagree with everything I say. Yes, I know. I am a submissive, everything I say is wrong on principal but if he's just going to sit there and be pedantic and no spank me then what's the point?

Ace is being annoying today too mostly because he's Ace but more than likely he's hungover from last night. I decided I would not go out last night in favour of going out tonight (with being the mature young woman I am) and he proceeded to tease me for it in punishment.

Any chastisement for my misdemeanours must be in person not over text message.

I can only conclude there is something in the water.

Top ten reasons that... sex with boys is better than sex with girls

10. Girls are self conscious alcoholics.
And my god does it annoy me. I have a friend who was seeing this Man-Child* for a while and the two of them had to get drunk before they could do anything. Utterly tragic. I'm afraid I can't enjoy it when Im mortal. Assuming I remember...

 

9. Girls are scared of being labeled.
You all stay at my house, drag me into the club toilets or check into a hotel and then come out with "but I'm definitely not a lesbian" which leaves me baffled because when anyone asks me I say I'm straight. Saying "I'm straight but I occasionally pick up women because different can be good and threesomes are great" is too long an answer.

 

8. Boys like it rough.
Not as a rule and by rough I do not mean kinky. Kinky would be everything from feathers, uniforms and whipped cream to gimp masks, strapons and pegs. I mean specifically "hard, fast and you'll probably enjoy it" quote DCI Gene Hunt. Women all want that scene from Chloe.

 

7. I don't have time for drama.
And everyone else does, my female friends spend so much time telling me about how they slept with this guy and oh my god why did she do that because it was the first date and she just split up from her boyfriend who she still loves and why didn't he call her anyway. Some days I feel like everyone knows who I slept with before I do!

 

6. "You were supposed to call me last night"
Gretchen Weiner- Mean Girls
Girls always call, or want you to call them. Or else you're both sluts. I have stopped giving my number to girls after "The Jessica Thing". Boys on the other hand mostly don't give a fuck if you call them or not because (obviously not in my case) you were probably terrible anyway (jokes, jokes...)

 

5. "The Jessica Thing"
Jessica was this beautiful girl I met at a club who as it happened was in the same profession. I didn't mention my job to her. Anyway so we had dinners, sleepovers, movies and ok sex for a while but then she got weird. She was constantly asking who I was texting and where I was. Obviously I was with Ace. The final straw was when I came back from Gloucester, I'd forgotten my charger so my phone was out and when I turned it back on the torrent of texts was unbelievable. Never again.

 

4. Men are sweet.
Pleasing is in my nature as a submissive whether its entertaining Him, making His tea right or stroking His hair when He's tired. Its all the same. However I don't think its doesn't work the other way. Lots of girls then dominant men are cruel, awful beings but I totally disagree. How can you submit to anyone you hate and how can you hate someone who is trying to get you to please him? He must have been sweet and lovely enough in the first place, girls are just lazy.

 

3. Girls are full of themselves.

I must be a better kisser, hugger, toucher or fingerer because I am also a girl and I know what other girls like. No. For Gods Sake NO! This is the worst type of girl. They all think they know but trust me they have no idea. Unless they are a lesbian. Seriously the straight girls are terrible for it. they haven't got a damn clue what theyre doing when faced with another girl. Thye might be great with boys but just me its all about practice. So annoying.

 

2. Boys are up for it.

Sweetheart would you like to try handcuffs? Maybe even (dare I say it) a blindfold? Yes? I can guarantee the boys would say yes the girls would say no. (note- not specifically to those things) Girls like familiarity and boys like adventures. I think We all know the difference between Huckleberry Finn and Malory Towers.

 

1. Boys are Always up for it.

No stomach cramps, watching the game and fucking is acceptable and if he has a headache well... well you don't need your head really do you.

Exodus.

I'm extra specially bored in this little "before uni starts" window so I've decided to spend time with all you lovely gentlemen!

 

Ill be in Baker Street/ Marylebone this Saturday and Sunday for all those disgusting perverts who want to pay me a visit.

 

Last Tuesday (prepare to be doubled over in side splitting laughter) I demolished my 'whoredrobe'. As in tore it apart. Destroyed. Or just emptied if you will. After all is there any point in leaving it at home when you could be enjoying my implements if discomfort?

 

Two sports bags, a suitcase, an oversized shoebox and one reusable shopping bag later it was pretty much empty*. Since getting the tube with it all wasn't an option I called a mini cab. I'm sure he didn't know what was in it but still a bit odd don't you think?

We got to Great Portland Street which took a long time from Tottenham and he started cursing and slamming the dashboard, huffing and puffing and getting terribly hot and bothered not unlike you in our sessions! Unfortunately this wasn't a session and taxi drivers agitate me so I asked him the problem.

 

I wouldn't lie to you.

 

The damn fan belt had snapped.

 

Its just my luck to be one tube station away from the flat and the car to break down..

Don't worry I got it all there fine, undamaged and unopened, unfortunately I had to take a mistresses call in the second car and if the driver hadn't guessed about the cargo he was carrying he would have then.

 

Now my large collection of outfits, custom paddles, floggers, toys (his and hers of course) and any other kinkery I've acquired is waiting patiently for me in its new home.

 

 

*when I say emptied I mean got most of it... this morning I found a flogger, two strap ons, assorted clamps, massage oil and a cuff littered around.

 

Its like sand. Once its in your shoes you can never get it out...

Hypnotics.

Its that time of the year again.

Freshers.

I haven't seen Holly for the last few days, she works at the SU bar so she's studying all day, working all night and sleeping for 20 minutes before getting up for her 9am classes. Anyway, she recommended that one of our other friends: BC and I went to the bar last night to watch the show that was on.

I am not a fan of cringy magic shows or appalling hypnotists. One could even call it my pet hate. I'm a huge fan of Victorian magic shows (for example The Prestige) or Freak Shows... anything werid and creepy like that but we showed up anyway.

I was hugely impressed, he wasn't doing hypnosis in the conventional watch swinging sense which I think disappointed BC a little but he was a fantastic entertainer similar to Derren Brown who's show I missed this year.. it was Infamous by the way. All the tricks he used we're psychology, strangely enough he was extremely similar to the Psychological Mistresses who work with suggestion.. you know, telling you have to do something and will do it not because they're telling you to because you want to.  Unfortunately some people don't respond well to suggestion because of personality, demeanour or some other psychological aspect and I am one of those people. So don't even try it.

In other news I have almost finished moving all of my toys, outfits and implements to Baker Street so those of you who are sick of me forgetting/ suggesting and not having/ losing things fear no longer. Its all there and ready to go every Monday and Friday.