Anal Virginity (lost)

I thought I had done everything with a girl.

Kissing, holding hands and touching as well as tying up, gagging and pouring hot wax and champagne over her. Yes that happened. Yes it went well. No we are not still together.

Emma (the most recent Gal-Pal of mine) was not someone I expected to be any of my firsts. I have been a lot of her's- no word of lie she was straight till she met me, ruined. I digress, I got a call last week regarding a double trouble appointment for one of our regular gentlemen. I jump at the chance to have a threesome so this occasion was no different.

Of course he (as any gentleman would) only mentioned he wanted me to use a strap on, on Emma when he arrived. That was a lovely surprise! I wasted no time texting Ace.

"Ace! Ace! Ace! I'm about to do anal on a girl for the first time ever!"

[reply a few seconds later]

"Only you could send me that right before I go into a meeting..."

Excellent timing if I do say so my self.

Emma (who is routinely bent over) said I did rather well.

What happened in the session? I never kiss and tell...

Talk Nerdy To Me

"I am in control of you! Uh! ugh... I'm going to come...!"

Said Hollys boyfriend to her not so long ago. Alex and I laughed. And laughed. Then laughed a bit more.

My friends insist on illustrating their intimate encounters with the audio to go with it. Holly (who by the way has given up all dominant thoughts in favour of submissive) has always been good at telling stories. I on the other hand am unable to make any talking sound even remotely sexy unless my dulcet tones are uttered in the throws of passion/ over excitement of getting a new toy/ implement/ obscene torture device.

I did some listening to some "audio erotica" on adultwork and my god is it abysmal. I wasn't turned on I was in fact actually horrified that I have an appointment in an hour and had to go fetch my biggest vibrators in an attempt to rectify the situation. Which it did.

But you just don't understand. I'd much rather listen to a bloke chatting on about university level math or the finer points of stock broking to get me going. Might be weird but it's better than a load of pornstar style natter...

...not that I despise pornstar filth at all!

Clit-Clips

I know what you're thinking.

"Charlotte, what the fuck is that?!"

My exact sentiment when a lovely regular of mine dropped a quick email to say he was popping in on Saturday and he would be bringing one.

Please see the photo regarding the appearance of a Clit-Clip, this one has a pretty bead thing going on. This did make me feel a bit better when Sir explained to me how he was going to tie me up, go at me with a remote control vibrator and clip everything he could. He did. 

So, of course I Googled Searched Clit-Clip after he left. And have ordered about 10. 

I wont lie to all, it was my first time with a Clit-Clip yesterday and I had spend half the week debating whether or not to do it and I am so pleased I did! Its not often I get to do things for the first time but when I do get to I get ridiculously over excited.

How much sex is enough?

I have sex everyday.

Usually once with Ace (or more on my days off) and possibly a few times during the day with you Slimy Buggers.

Literally, at one point about two years ago when I was first beginning to dabble in the BDSM side of the adult industry I convinced myself I had some sort of huge disorder. WRONG. It was a dumb ex boyf paired with too much porn.

And basically not enough sex.

I digress from my point of matter: I was reading CosmopolitainBODY. For all the men its Cosmo magazine but focused on health and fitness considering about 64% of adults in the UK are overweight (by the way that figure goes up if you limit it just to the North East... yikes!). The article I was reading entitled: How Much Sex Is Enough also has lots of figures. The most fun ones being:

Having 100 orgasms a year can increase life expectancy by 3-8 years 
(vague and stupid. I think I've had 100 orgasms this month, therefore does the figure go up? I thought not.)

Men have the most sex when they're 29 years old
Incorrect, as all my regulars and any bloke browsing my website reading this will know, as well as Ace who is 27. This is obviously a statistic thought up by a deluded, married woman in her late 30's. Probably overweight.

But please a drum roll for the best stat Cosmo has to offer us girls.

Have sex everyday if you want to get pregnant.
NO WAY.

Stop the press...

Cancel my appointments....

You heard it here first ladies and gentlemen.