Models Upstairs.

Lets stop for a moment and talk about The Red Light District of London.

Infamously known all over England, Soho is the most notorious home of seedy strip clubs and hidden (or not so hidden brothels) in fact the first club in London that I worked in was right in the middle of it. The French Pussycat Club.

I was the only girl that spoke any English and had the palest skin there. I got on with this fantastic girl known then as Lulu, born and and raised in tha 'hood or some obscure part of South London. Peckham Innit Doe. First thing she did was warn me the other girls would hate me and oh man did they. I had already danced in a club in Newcastle so I knew the drill but these girls just grinded against the pole. Oh the dirty looks I got when I would swing round it.

Anyway. This is a story about the brothels, not the clubs.

You've all heard about my friend Master Alex, the drunken whorebag that he is and his late night antics in the capital. Well he was out partying with some of his crew (I call them "crew" as he is an honorary South Londoner) when one of them mentioned they were in Soho and that oh my god didn't you know that it was riddled with *giggle* er [whispered] prostitutes?! Master Alex stifled his laughter and with mock horror replied "No, really?" Yes of course! This unsuspecting girl nodded back, look! There's a [whispered] brothel right there!

Models Upstairs.

Right above a chinese, staying classy of course.

I kid you not, Master Alex took her upstairs and got a pricelist and everything.  Cannot condone this as he then used to "Need to hit the ATM excuse"

Timewasting Son Of A Bitch.